when you said you dread it, this is what i was thinking.
You see, I don’t hate the conversations when the dog runs up to you, and you have to prepare yourself to talk to the owners. Those are the kind of conversations I thrive on. You can be a completely different person and never have to worry about ever seeing these people again, or having them say something horrifyingly embarrassing about you. sure you could be the ” this deranged girl just started yapping about the ….” but they do not have a name on you. you are anonymous. and it’s amazing that in the world that is solely based on making a name for yourself, you can remain a vacant part of someones story with no name what so ever.
everything that you had said to me was just a lie before you left.
I’m looking for a new person to break down the walls I’ve created and to steal the information and learn from it. I need them to be there, and listen to what I have to say, and to like doing it. A person to send my writing to, and cry out without worrying about how their opinion on me will change. It should be her, but she’s gone so far away I don’t think there’s any getting back what we had. Sooner would be better. The only reason I’m not crazy is because I can admit to the weird things I do. I’m not crazy because I accept that I am. Crazy people don’t know their crazy.
I never wanna kiss you again Never wanna walk through the park holding your hand No more talking all night until the early morning It’s such a shame to say that we’ll never be the same… again
Baby stop and think about it You lied to me, lied to me Baby stop and think about it You lied to me, lied to me
The love we once shared girl no longer It no longer remains and now it’s harder, the pain because She never really knew she wondered Was she being untrue or was I being a fool because I’m gone and I’m never coming home So baby don’t call cause I won’t answer the phone Stay out of my life baby just leave me alone And it’s such a shame to say that we’ll never be the same
Should have been different, but it wasn’t different. It was the same old story. Should have all worked out but it didn’t, she should be here now but she isn’t. There’s your trouble. You can say ” I love you” but you can see she doesn’t, but you just keep holding on. Could have been true love but it wasn’t , it should all add up but it doesn’t.
I wasn’t sure if the throbbing in my head was from the music I had playing endlessly in my room, or if it was from thinking too much. I think the worst feeling in the world is when you can see right through someone. You can see that they are using you, but you care for them so much that you let them. You pretend you don’t notice. You have to pretend that all the words they say don’t matter, when really, you’ve never wanted to hear anything more in your life. Use and abuse.
Today was so unexpected, well the events of today.
I woke up to go to school, dragged myself out of bed, made my long journey up stairs and then saw what the day had in store for me. A dark gloomy foggy day. With that I went back down stairs and curled up into my blankets and went back to sleep. I was supposed to only attend first class today, and then go shopping with one of my best friends, but I just couldn’t hack it. I already felt like shit and the weather wasn’t helping. My mom then informed me about an hour later that she was going to take me to the clinic because she thought I had mono. Do I have mono? I don’t know, because the clinic was so packed we said fuck it and left.
Then my mom informs me that she heard of this school that she wanted to check out, willingly I obliged. So we walk in and say were interested in what they have to offer, and within 15 minutes later, I’m filling out registration papers.