“My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”—from the movie ‘Stardust’ (submitted by adreamisawish) (via quote-book) (via lovebot) (via witchindarkroom)
Don’t tell someone who is depressed to go out and enjoy life and be happy. Don’t tell someone with an eating disorder to just eat and it all go away. Don’t tell someone who is having a panic attack to just calm down. It’s a lot more complicated than that. And you are only making it worse.
I never had understood the power that someones words could revoke on someone, till I had them thrown at me. I was in a bind, and either way, there was no untangling the web I had made. She was my soulmate, no question about that. Looking back, I can say now that she knew me better then I knew myself. I just wish I could have told myself that then. Back then I chose to put her in the line of fire when the heat got turned up, I never, not once, risked my own well being. She knew that my repuation meant alot to me, so she just stood and took it. She was a solid brick wall, little did i know that there were cracks forming.
I'm sorry for breaking all the promises I wasn't around to keep
Well today was just like every other day. I got up a little worn, and hauled myself up the stairs into the bathroom. But today it happened, and my mom hates my guts, but she has every reason to, honestly from all the things I do. But I guess I’ll tell the truth when I say, it breaks me just to know that I have torn her apart so many times, so god damn many times. I’ve done what I always did, and it has never ever been enough. Cause I’ve over committed myself. I taught myself a lie that I never should have thought in the first place. But hey, I guess this is growing up and I’m sleeping so little these days. Dare I say it I’m feeling things are about to change. I’m guessing this is growing up.
“Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright, passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice that men who had cared for her found difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered ‘Listen,’ a promise that she had done gay, exciting things and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour.”—F.Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby (via shynessisnice) (via christinels)
You asked what I wanted, and I lied and said it was hard to put into words. But it’s simple. I wanted to be treated the way that you treat her. All you have with her is everything I wanted. It is a dissapointment that you’re the only guy I ever felt something for, and your gone and swept up another girl. oh well.
I’m in love with the idea of loving you. I don’t know if that’s the same thing as just loving you. But I like when you smile at me, and I like your scent, I like the color of your hair, and the way your personality is a little bent. I love your laugh, and your jokes are funny. I love being around you, I’m set on the idea that in order to be close to you, I have to have something. That one thing that makes me different from all of the other people in your life. All I can give you is my love, and I know that should be enough, but somehow, here I am.
Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air And feather canyons everywhere, i’ve looked at cloud that way. But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone. So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.
I’ve looked at clouds from both sides now, From up and down, and still somehow It’s cloud illusions i recall. I really don’t know clouds at all.
Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel As every fairy tale comes real; i’ve looked at love that way. But now it’s just another show. you leave ‘em laughing when you go And if you care, don’t let them know, don’t give yourself away.
I’ve looked at love from both sides now, From give and take, and still somehow It’s love’s illusions i recall. I really don’t know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud to say “i love you” right out loud, Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i’ve looked at life that way. But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed. Something’s lost but something’s gained in living every day.
I’ve looked at life from both sides now, From win and lose, and still somehow It’s life’s illusions i recall. I really don’t know life at all.
Her eyes saw something different, but I didn’t dare ask to see what she saw. She told me once that she just wanted to live. she wanted the freedom and choices that everyone else had. but she wasn’t like everyone else. She swelled into the air as the sound rose, and the doors rattled and the windows cracked. she didn’t belong here, or anywhere else. I would attempt to talk her out of her fears, and try to undrown her from her sorrows, but she was unsaveable. She kept screaming about a monster that I couldn’t seem to locate. The harder I looked the more the faces around me faded from the smiles and started to crack. Something was always coming and you could hear it, the floors cracked, what was it waiting for. she was hiding from some beast but the beast was always here, watching without eyes because the beast was just her fear. She had spent her whole life avoiding what she felt in her gut. She knew she wanted something, but nothing was ever good enough. I’d find her standing, staring madly into the dark at nothing, the time of the days before wouldn’t let her go, and it was slowly killing her. she would constantly grab at me to pull her up because she was sinking into the roots into the ground, and it wasn’t her time. I could smell the stale fear that was leaking from her skin, all she wanted was someone she could beleive in. It rattled my bones to see her this way, sure she was breathing, if you could call that living. She was nothing, that was all she had become.
I’m always up. I’m always tired, but sleep doesn’t come. The only nights I enjoy are when you’re with me. You make time pass by so much faster. All I’m doing is sitting here wondering, waiting, what could she possibly be doing. she doesn’t sleep either.
Would it kill you to be nice to me once in a while? It seems the only time you are is when I say I’m on the verge of suicide, and even then it only lasted a day , not even, of you being civil to me. I know I’m not what you wanted for a daughter, and I’m sorry, but you do have two other daughters. They can have your grandkids, and all else that I don’t want.
So she wants to lose her virginity before anything happens between us. That’s a little weird, but understandable. I don’t really know why though. I’m thrilled that somebody like you finds somebody like me attractive.